


Bulletproof love.

by prbblmz



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: F/F, Kind of angsty but it's cool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28658001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prbblmz/pseuds/prbblmz
Summary: What went through Kieu My's head after being called out by Fatou and how she fixed it.
Relationships: Fatou Jallow/Kieu My Vu
Comments: 5
Kudos: 103





	Bulletproof love.

**Author's Note:**

> This is like my first every fanfic, plus English isn't my first language so don't be that harsh lmao. I hope you enjoy it, I started it only for me and a friend, motivated by my lack of sleep. Anyway, without further delay, the fanfic.

"I always defended you. Said that you were different from them. I can't believe I couldn't see how fake you are, Kieu My." she heard her said. At this point her mind was blank, she didn't know what to think, everything was confusing; what excuse did she have? 'My friends won't leave me alone' seemed so vane, so stupid. Dismissing the kiss sounded like a good idea to get Constantin off her shoulders, but now Fatou heard her and the weight her consequences came down like concrete.

What could she do? Go to Fatou and explain everything happening to her? But what could she explain, really? She acted like an asshole, she knew that she could have done everything differently but she decided to what? Ignore her more than three times and then let her so called friends treat her like trash? She didn't deserve an opportunity of explaining herself, much less right now that Fatou seemed so angry. Thinking about it, she had never seen Fatou that angry, she was always calm and patient. Poor Fatou, she didn't deserve being lean on like that.

"Kieu My?" Constantin asked. Oh, she was so mad at him. He was always like this, never looking at the consequences of his acts. When she thinks about her group of friends she knows how badly they act in school, it actually has bugged her since before Ismail and Constantin made Ava get out of country for a year. She never spoke up, maybe because she was a coward but certainly because she was afraid of talking to them and showing them she actually cares. She can't do that, no. She can't show them how much she cares about everything, they will judge her and she has enough of that already within herself. But, either way, she knows they can grow out of it and have redeemable traits inside of them. Except Constantin, she can't stand him and his out of tone comments anymore.

"Kieu My?" Constantin asked again, he looked worried, right now she doesn't care. "Why did you say that about her?" she answered dismissing the question. "What do you mean?" Answered like he genuinely didn't know. 'Oh, he thinks I am a fool' was all that she could think about.

"Oh, don't play dumb with me. 'better than to date that girl that smoked half of her brain away' what were you thinking?" She was mad, mad enough to not care about whatever he thought of her right now. "That thing? Dude, I was just playing, it's not like it's not true" he said blowing the comment off with his hand as if it didn't matter. "You don't know her, you don't know anything about her so don't you dare say that stuff." she said getting up of her seat, she was done, she didn't want to be there. "Oh, and you do? Do you know her, Kieu My?"

"Fuck you." and she left as her friends watched her in awe, it was weird from her to react this way, it isn't like she didn't do anything around them, in the contrary, she did, but she never acted so irrational. Everything she did was thought, planned. She is a perfectionist and she likes everything going the way it's planned. The thing is, she didn't plan this. She didn't plan Fatou, she didn't plan liking her and much less kissing her. She didn't plan ignoring but she also didn't plan how to answer. This was all too complicated, she had never done this, not even with men. Relationships aren't her forte, she liked casual, but this with Fatou felt like everything but casual. 

She was freaking out and her family situation wasn't helping either. She had to go to the police on saturday to file a report because some asshats decided to trash up their store and for what? Racism? Unfair world we are living it, so unfair that she had to deal with the consequences of her whole family being on edge and afraid. It was driving her crazy and she didn't know what to do anymore.

She was walking without a real place in mind, she had school, yes, but she wasn't about to go to class when she couldn't even pay attention to whatever was happening in her surroundings. Her mind wasn't prepared for that and putting herself through it sounded like torture so instead she went to the bathroom to splash water on her face, that seemed to work on movies. What she didn't expect was finding Fatou there, she looked like she had been crying and Kieu My felt like the worst person on earth. Fatou was surprised to see her there too, she certainly didn't expect it, less so soon.

"I don't want to talk to you." She said after what seemed a lifetime of just staring, Kieu My felt like none of them were prepared to this conversation but she had to at least try and make it right.

"I know." She said fast, she didn't want to ruin anything more. It already was past the point of no return. Fatou opened her mouth as if to talk, but no words came out of her mouth. What was she expecting from her? Kieu My guessed an apology, but what could she said?

The more time they stared at eachother, the more anxiety she felt. She didn't know what to do. A million thoughts were passing through her mind, most of them were excuses but none of them were worth it. The sudden movement of Fatou trying to get out snapped her out of it. "Let me explain everything." She said hopefully, she had to do anything before Fatou left. She needed to try.

"Save it." And she left, just like that. She wasn't going to act like she didn't deserve it because she did that, even more. But that's the moment when it hit her like a bucket full of cold water and she cried, she cried like she hadn't cried in years. She felt as alone as ever, none of her friends were with her right now. All her facade disappeared the moment she saw Fatou again so there was no way she could protect herself from all the vulnerability she was facing. No crew, no ice queen, no hiding. What was her without all that? 

All that repression came running so fast and so hard that she felt like she couldn't breathe. She really had done that, she hurt the only person she felt genuine interest in her whole life and then left her friends hurt her too. What would she do now? How could she fix something so unfixable? 

Monday.

Kieu My decided it was the moment to end her pity party, she had been the whole weekend in her house, blasting Taylor Swift music as it if was going to fix all her problems, to her surprise the only thing it managed to do was make her realize she was living 'Betty'. Her social media was basically dead and she knew Zoe, Finn and Ismail were worried. She didn't really want to go back to their group, but she did appreciate them trying to reach out. 

She had been thinking about everything and got to the conclusion that her interest for Fatou wasn't an interest at all, she was in love with her and she had ruined every opportunity of something happening. She was tired of feeling sorry for herself, though, so she decided it was moment for her to at least own up her actions and apologize to Fatou, that's the least she deserved.

And that's how she found herself outside of Fatou's classroom waiting for her to come out and have the mercy or curiosity to at least listen to what she had to say. She knew her plan failed when she saw Fatou come out with all of her friends in front of her. She had to give them the credit of being this good to her.

"What are you doing here? Don't you think you have done enough?" Ava said first, expected and understandable, she didn't have any reason to trust Kieu My, she had done more than enough damage to both of them. "I was hoping to talk with Fatou for a minute, if she's up to do that." Kieu My asked looking directly at Fatou who hasn't even looked at her yet. Ouch. "I don't think that's a good idea, Kieu My. You should go." This time mailin spoke, this was going to be hard. "I just want to talk to her for a minute, it isn't that mu-." She stopped when Fatou came out from behind her friends with her hand hold high.

"I don't want to talk to you, Kieu My. What are you going to do? Tell me how sorry you are? I don't want to hear it. I gave you a chance, no, I gave you multiple chances to show me how you really felt and you just ignored me. You are selfish and you don't deserve someone like me. As you said, it was just a stupid new year kiss, get over it." And she left, that's the third time she left after saying something so harsh to her and it didn't seem to hurt less. Her group left with her, clearly, but Nora stayed behind to give her an apologetic look before going with them. And Kieu My was left alone facing the group of people that had formed outside of the classroom, a group of people she didn't noticed until now. She just took a deep breath and got out of there.

Thursday.

Tuesday and wednesday went fast, Kieu My wasn't as bad as the first time but she certainly was sadder, this time it felt more definitive than every other time. She had been trying successfully to avoid Fatou in every way she could, the problem was avoiding her on their shared class, where she was heading right now. 

She was going early to not raise attention from anyone. Since the incident everyone was talking about it and her not joining the instas as she was used to was only adding wood to the fire. Everyone wanted to know the gossip between her and Fatou, but nothing wasn't happening, she hadn't seen or heard about the shorter girl. 

Class went normally, she painfully tried to avoid Fatou the whole time. It became impossible the moment her teacher called both of their names together saying they will have to work together for a project. "Can I change partner? Mailin offered herself to change with me." Fatou asked pursing her lips as soon as the teacher stopped talking. "I am afraid not, you can't change partner" Fatou rolled her eyes and Kieu My smiled, at least they would get to have a little time together, she thought.

When class ended Kieu My went directly to Fatou's chair, she needed to take advantage of this as much as she can. "hi." She said. "Hi." Fatou answered without even looking at her. "So hmm for the project, how are we going to do it?" "Meet me at my place on saturday around 14:30. I'll text you the address." And she left, again. At this point Kieu My was getting used to this cold attitude Fatou was showing her, what surprised her most is how out of character it seemed. Fatou is a sweet, understanding and chill person, her giving this treatment to someone, let alone her, was a surprise to say the least. She left smiling though, this was a win and she was going to take it as it is.

Saturday.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." Said Kieu My under her breath. It was 14:05 and she was almost at the other side of the city helping her family file another police report, she was going to be late and she knew how problematic would that be. "Is this going to take much longer?" She asked the girl at the front desk, hoping she would let them go. All the hopes were crashed the moment she told her it would take at least half an hour more. With this she took her phone out and called Fatou, the least she could do was to tell her. Two tones in, she answered.

"Hello?" 

"Hi, Fatou. I have to be late, I'll get there around 15:30 or 16:00. Is that okay?" Silence on the other side. "Hello?" 

"Yeah, no, it's not okay. You agreed to be here on time, you always do that. I had other things to do, I can't wait around all day for you." 

"I promise I will explain when I get there." And the line went dead, it went better than expected. She thought Fatou was going to take her out of the project.

When she got to Fatou's house it was 15:45, not that bad. She spent at least five more minutes staring at Fatou's door, what would she say? She didn't want to talk about her family problems, that would make them even more real, scarier. She knocked and Fatou answered almost immediately, she didn't say hi, she was mad, she just took her jacket and showed her the way to her room. It was a beautiful room, it suited her. "I see maike is doing well" she said hoping to light up the humor a little bit. "Well, if I left her with your friend she would be dead by now, so yeah, she's doing well." So much for lighting up the humor.

"I'm waiting for an explanation." She said as she sat on her bed, taping the other end asking her companion to sit.

"It's kind of a long explanation." She tried to laugh, it was awkward for both of them. 'oh, here we go.' she thought. "I was at the police station." 

"What did you do?" Fatou asked, she looked worried. "No, I didn't do anything. Something happened to family, our shop was attacked by some stupid people and we still have to do paperwork. I'm helping them as much as I can, they are really scared." 

"Is everyone okay?" Fatou was worried, Kieu My could see it in her eyes. It was like this whole ignoring and treating her badly just disappeared out of nowhere. "Yes, they are okay. The shop was closed, it happened on new year so they all were home." 

"Is that why?" Fatou asked hopefully, but Kieu My didn't really understand the question. "Is that why, what?" And then it hit her, she means why she ignored her. "No, not really. I don't have an excuse for that, I was scared, which I know isn't a reason enough but it is the truth. You were right, I am selfish and was only thinking about me. I didn't know how to answer, I didn't know what to expect from you much less what did you expect from me. I do not deserve you and you were right about that too." 

"Did it mean anything?" the kiss, Fatou was referring to the kiss they shared. How could she tell her it meant everything after what she heard her say? "It did, it meant a lot to me." Fatou cleared her throat and resitted. Did Kieu My just killed the situation? "And are you okay?" 

"Wow, me? Why? I mean, yes, I am okay." Fatou just looked at her, like she was reading her completely. She always considered herself an unreadable person, that's one of the reasons she acted the way she did. She didn't like feeling vulnerable, therefore, she didn't feel at all, no relationships and no strings attached. But this time she wanted it to be different. "No, I'm not okay. It's so unfair and scary. I feel like I can't be myself anymore, you know how they tell you it's okay to be different but then they fucking go and trash your parents shop?" Fatou was looking at her with such an understanding eyes that continuing didn't feel so hard. "I mean, I clearly know you do, that was stupid of me to ask." Fatou reached for her hand, doing small circles with her thumb. It felt so overwhelming that the tears started to get out without permission, she couldn't control herself anymore but right now, different to the other day in the bathroom, she felt safe not doing so. "I feel embarrassed of being myself when I should be proud. It doesn't make sense, you know? It's not like we chose to do a fucking virus, hell, it affects us too, it's like I'm wrong just for existing." 

Fatou just hugged her like she would never let her go and that was her cue to let herself go. She cried in her arms for what seemed hours while her companion gently caressed her back. She didn't have time to feel embarrassed, she, for the first time in a lot time, felt understood.

Friday. 

Seven days since the whole breakdown situation and Kieu My still didn't feel bad about it, being able to get that off her chest not only helped her see things with a little more perspective, it also helped her relationship with Fatou. The project was due yesterday, they had it ready by monday, but for some reason they were still messaging eachother. Fatou talked a lot about animals, it made sense given her work, but it was also really cute, she also usually mentioned some things about her sign that she was still skeptical but believed her just because she said so, Kieu My talked a lot about astronomy, she had never had anyone willing to listen to her speak about it so this was new and exciting.

She had also talked to her friends, she decided she didn't need to leave them behind to be whoever she wanted to be, but she did tell them a lot of stuff was going to change. Right now she was going to Zoe's just to catch up with everything, Ismail and Finn were going to join them too. Since their talk, Constantin decided he didn't want to be a part anymore and just started giving them the cold shoulder, Ismail on the other hand was surprisingly happy about her a Fatou talking again. 

When she knocked on the door she was surprised by Ava opening instead of Zoe, Ava still didn't like her very much and she understood her reasons to be reluctant to her. She didn't blame her. "Hey." She said simply.

"Hi, is Zoe here? She told me to come." She said peaking inside, the situation was uncomfortable enough to give it more small talk. She could see Ava rolling her eyes. "She just went out with Ismail and Finn, I'm sure they will come soon. Come in." She said as she gave Kieu My space to enter. "I'll be in my room, you know everything around here." 

"Wait." Ava stopped in her tracks, looking at her. "I know you don't like me very much and I get it and I would never judge you for that, but I sincerely wanted to apologize for not standing up for you when Ismail and Constantin would bully you non-stop. I don't have an excuse and I should have known better than to ignore but now I am trying to be a better person and that starts with me apologizing to you."

Ava didn't say anything for a bit, until she just smiled taking Kieu My's coat from her hand and hanging it. "That's a first step, but it isn't going to be enough." She said going to her room not before stopping and adding: "I really appreciate it though".

Tuesday.

It's tuesday and Fatou hasn't texted her or seen her since saturday, she was freaking out. In her mind everything was okay, she hadn't done anything wrong, has she? Her overthinking was eating her alive so she decided to go to Fatou's work and wait for her to get out and ask her if everything was okay. That's how she found herself in the coldest night ever, outside of a pet shop with a stuffed axolotl in her hands that she had bought out of panic last sunday. 

When Fatou finally got out of work, the only thing she could think about was how she couldn't feel her legs, so when the girl she was waiting for joined her in the bench she forgot everything she had planned. "What do I owe the pleasure?" Fatou said while playfully hitting her elbow with her hand. "I'm sorry." Kieu my said rapidly. "I don't know what did I do to make you ghost me again, but I am sorry." She dared to look at Fatou for the first time since she joined. She was smiling. "You didn't do anything, silly. I just broke my phone and between maike and work I haven't got time to take it to Josh's job. Also my supervisor is kind of a pain in the ass and my grades are bad so I had to focus on those things and took it as an opportunity. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I tried to find you on school but you were nowhere to be seen." Kieu My smiled letting out some tears of relief, she wasn't afraid of being vulnerable anymore, at least not around Fatou and it turns out she was pretty emotional. Fatou took that opportunity to clean them with her thumbs. 

"And what's this?" She said looking at the stuffed animal laying beside them. "Oh, you won't believe me. I bought him to win you back again. Did it work?" 

Fatou smiled, taking Kieu My's face with her hands. "Completely." She said before kissing her.

**Author's Note:**

> If you got here, thank you for reading, I hope it was of your liking. 
> 
> I want to thank my friend Hisoka for helping out with this, it would have been a disaster without her.


End file.
